Rachael Welford is the healer behind Welford Wellbeing, helping people suffering from stress, burn out , exhaustion and anxiety to find alignment, recharge and create a life that actually works for them, rather than against them. Not too many years ago, Rachael was one of these wired and tired Londoners, but through reiki, meditation, and deep soul searching, she's found a balance and approach to living that doesn't wear her out.
Rachael supports others with coaching techniques and healing tools such as sound baths and Emotional Freedom Technique. We talk to her about setting goals that actually make us feel good, how to not feel overwhelmed by New Year pressure and her new course, The Re-Set.
You are launching your course, The Re-Set, this month – what inspired you to launch it?
I have been thinking about launching The Re-Set for a while now. Utilising tools and techniques I have used to turn my life around. I used to think, “there has to be more to life than this?!” I was always tired, constantly people pleasing and completely disconnected from myself. I was working so hard and really felt the need to keep up with everyone, consistently comparing myself to others, feeling like I couldn’t keep up. Everything had to be perfect and it was so stressful.
I had great friends and family, my career was going well and from the outside looking in, it probably looked like I was having the time of my life, but inside was a very different story. I was scared about the voice in my head and didn’t want to tell anyone what was going on, I knew I had to make changes but I didn’t know where to start. This is where The Re-Set has come from.
I have created three options to make it really simple, with the course spanning six or 12 months depending on where you’re at. We will go through each area of your life and begin a gentle, nurturing and supportive process, helping you to completely re-set and start a fresh. It’s a really transformational process.
What is your approach to tacking the New Year and new goals without feeling overwhelmed and anxious?
It sounds super simple but doing one thing at a time is key. I believe multitasking and trying to do too many things at once is really overwhelming and for me, leads to procrastination through panic freeze. You know, when you feel like you have so much to do you start to panic and then your brain literally freezes and you can’t do anything.
I have implemented the habit of only working on three things at a time. I have two to do lists. One has everything I need to do on it and the second only ever has three things on it. When those three things are done I move the next three top priorities from the big list.
I would also recommend limiting habit changes to one at a time too. When we get to New Year it’s easy to start setting goals like giving up smoking, losing two stone, starting yoga three times per week, going vegan and saving money every month. We then can’t implement all the habits at once, so don’t bother with any and then berate ourselves for being a ‘failure’. My advice is deciding which new habit will benefit you the most and starting with that one. Wait until it is engrained (usually after 66 days) and then pick your second one. Life is a beautiful journey, we can enjoy the ride so much more when we don’t heap the pressure on ourselves.
Finally, be really kind and nurturing to yourself when you’re going through change.
How do you think we can work from a place of planning what we want to do rather than what we think we should be doing with our year?
This is a great question! It’s sometimes harder than you think to do this. I always think it’s about planning what you want and why you want it, then tuning into your inner compass and following that so you don’t get distracted by societal and other external pressures.
Don’t be afraid to question yourself. Some good questions to start with could be:
- Is this actually my dream or goal?
- Who am I doing this for?
- If I get to this goal, what feeling will I have (always chase the feeling not the object). For example, you may want a house because you want to feel secure. You may want to go on holiday because you want to feel free and relaxed.
- What is this goal/ dream driven by?
- Am I doing this because I feel like I should/ will be punished some how if I don’t do it.
These should help you realise whether you are doing this for yourself or whether you feel like you ‘should’ be doing it. Always remove any ‘shoulds’ from your life.
How do we deal with not achieving a goal, or changing a goal, without feeling disappointed or like we failed?
If you follow the feeling rather than the goal, you can enjoy the journey as well as the end result. Life is not a straight line, it’s a beautiful meandering journey and sometimes if we are focused too much on a specific end goal we miss all the awesome things that have happened on the way.
The older I get the more I realise that it is not my role to judge myself or compare myself to others, as long as I am happy and healthy that is all that matters. I think it is hard not to be disappointed or feel like we have failed at times, but I am an advocate for feeling all our emotions so I would recommend allowing yourself to feel that but not getting bogged down in the feeling. Allowing sometime to reflect, replan and quickly move on when things aren’t working. Embrace change and know that everyone fails! Look at most millionaires, they’ve all been broke at points. Oprah was told she was unfit for TV, the Beatles were tuned down by numerous record labels and Walt Disney was told he was not creative enough. As Henry Ford once said, “failure is the opportunity to begin again more intelligently.”
I would recommend reframing failure and your goals. Make sure you are passionate and happy about what you’re trying to achieve and why, do one thing at a time and if you fail, simply dust yourself off and try again. Action removes fear, so just keep going. You have totally got this!